There
comes a time in your life when you finally get it ...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop
dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your
head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying
or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting
down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside,
you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and
through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting
for something, or someone, to change, or for happiness,
safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always
fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and
that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must
begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the "reality
of today" rather than holding out for the "promise
of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are,
and the way you navigate through life is, in great part,
a result of all the social conditioning you've received
over the course of a lifetime.
And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were
taught about:-how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car your should
drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your
family,
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different
points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining
who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin
to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should
never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that
not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or
what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to
their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with
the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect
10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter...
and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your
head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take
a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise
to give yourself the same unconditional love and support
you give so freely to others.
Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer"
hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of
shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family,
friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover
that "it is truly in giving that we receive [1] and
that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving.
And you recognize the importance of "creating"
& "contributing" rather than "obtaining"
& "accumulating."
And you give thanks for the simple things you've been
blessed with, things that millions of people upon the
earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean
running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice
and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.
And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop
engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating
in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced
diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because
you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates
doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest.
And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel
for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time
for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when
to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover
who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his
touch. You learn that people don't always say what they
mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally,
and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly
enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing
out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for
the things that were done to you or weren't done for you.
And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge
and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger,
jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people
for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges
instead of walls and about the healing power of love as
it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a
friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate
any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and
edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things
over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings
of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right
to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance
of communicating your needs with confidence and grace.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose
to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the
stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and
responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries
and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know
all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and
that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are
and not as you would want them to be and you are careful
not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship.
You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent,
more lovable or important because of the man on your arm
or the child that bears your name. You learn that just
as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships
and that that not everyone can always love you the way
you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth
by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you
realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their
life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs,
ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards
and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving
and receiving is the love that is given freely without
conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means
to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations
and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not
mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the
joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on
yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most
fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so
it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart
heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations.
And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation
with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change
things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep
you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what
could or should have been and you make a decision to leave
the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and
energy to affect positive change. You take a personal
inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the
areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you
set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things
through.
You
learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always
get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing
every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that
sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these
things are not an act of God... but merely a random act
of fate.
And
you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned
that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected
and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it.
And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear
is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So
you learn to step right into and through your fears, because
to give into fear is to give away the right to live life
on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what
you want and not to squander your life living under a
cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then,
YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence
it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize
the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly,
you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself
and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you
live with honor and integrity because you know that these
principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era
but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon
which you must build your life. And you make it a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to
every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility.
Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind
yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally,
with courage in your heart and with God by your side you
take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to
design the life you want to live as best as you can.
A
word about the Power of Prayer:
In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours,
I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for
material things, but for my "God" to help me
find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere;
to face each day and to do what I must do.
Remember
this:-
You are an expression of the almighty.
The spirit of God resides within you and moves through
you.
Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal
and empower you.
My "God" has never failed me.
